Ruin and Redemption
by TigerLilith
Summary: When the world shattered those that remained were left to collect the pieces. But what happens when you realize the most important piece is missing...when you didn't even know it was important to begin with?  This will be a multi-chapter fic.  Seiner.
1. Prologue: The End of Things

**A/N: **Lines in italics are the thoughts of the character while lines in italics with quotation marks represent memories.**  
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**Prologue: The End of Things**

The last thing Hayner remembered was a feeling of vertigo as the sky suddenly turned black and the world around him shattered like so many pieces of broken glass. He also remembered the argument; he didn't think he would ever be able to forget that. When he awoke sometime later, Hayner had no idea where he was, how he'd gotten there, or how long he'd been out of it. The one thing he did know was that he was completely, horribly alone.

He found himself on a beach, not unlike the one at home in Twilight Town, but that was where all sense of familiarity ended. As he slowly trudged towards what appeared to be a road, a feeling of utter desolation settled over the teen rising into panic as he took in the scene before him. Gone. All the people, all signs of life that once inhabited this place, wherever this was, were just gone. It was like the gods had reached down and erased every man, woman and child right out of existence.

_This isn't happening…it can't be happening…_

Hayner wandered down what looked to be the main thoroughfare of the town…_where the hell am I, anyway?..._ and took in what was left. There were cars crashed into buildings or street signs, engines still idling, the sounds of music could be heard playing from an open window and there was the smell of something burning in the air. Following the smell led Hayner to the kitchen of a small diner where there was what looked like bacon burning on an open faced grill. Turning off the heat and removing the now inedible breakfast to a nearby sink, Hayner then moved back out into the dining room where several plates of half eaten food and cups of coffee were scattered, left behind like everything else in this place.

After wandering around for what seemed to be hours and finding no one, the desolate teen sat with his back against a nearby tree and buried his head in his arms as the first sob escaped him.

_I didn't mean it…oh gods…I swear I didn't mean it…_

"_Gods, I wish I'd never met you! You want me gone? You never want to see me again? __**Fine! **__I'm gone and if I have my way I'll disappear to someplace where I will never have to look at your face ever again."_

"Oh Gods, what have I done?"


	2. Picking up the Pieces

**Chapter 2: Picking Up the Pieces**

Something was missing; Seifer Almasy just didn't know what. After mentally clawing after whatever it was he needed to find for several minutes he gave up and shoved the nagging feeling aside. There was too much that needed doing and he'd wasted enough time as it was. Exiting the tent he shared with his two best friends, Fujin and Raijin, the blonde bully made his way past several rows of tents similar to the one he'd just left as he worked his way towards the center of what was becoming an alarmingly large refugee camp.

As Seifer approached the rather large, yet run down, manor house that was currently serving as camp headquarters, the other two members of the Twilight Disciplinary Committee separated themselves from the shadows to the left of the door and fell in step behind him. Once inside, the trio made their way through and around the rather large crowd of people it took to keep the camp running day after day towards a small office at the rear of the first floor. Knocking once, Seifer didn't bother to wait for acknowledgment before entering to face the brunette behind the massive paper strewn desk.

Squall-_call me Leon, dammit!_-Leonhart cut an imposing figure as he hunched over the stack of papers he was filling out in an uncharacteristically tidy hand, looking for all the world as if he'd rather be ripping them to shreds instead. Sighing as he finished yet another requisitions form, Leon leaned back in his chair and silently regarded the trio in front of him.

"So, I hear you had a run-in with some young idiots yesterday."

"Nothing we couldn't handle; just a bunch of brats blowing off some steam." Seifer replied with a shrug. "Everyone's a little on edge."

"Tell me about it. In any case, I've got you three set up for patrol again only you'll be taking the north side near where most others from Twilight Town have set themselves up. If you need anything from stores just let Selphie know and she'll take care of it. Otherwise, you are dismissed."

Nodding in acknowledgement, Seifer and his crew let themselves out of Leon's office and made their way towards the northern encampment to begin their shift patrolling for trouble. Having taken it upon themselves to roam the streets of Twilight Town looking for lowlifes and other spots of trouble, it had only been natural that they do the same here; especially when it became apparent how _desperately_ their help was needed. Even in the midst of chaos and tragedy there were those that would happily look for any opportunity to cause mischief or exploit those around them for personal gain.

After several hours, a few new scrapes and a couple of broken bones had taken care of whatever idiots Seifer had been forced to deal with during his time on patrol. As he split from his two friends in order to report in, Seifer's mind inevitably began to wander back to the events that had led them all here. He'd been on his way home after a particularly vicious confrontation when the sky above him had suddenly turned from blue to black and the ground had begun to shake. Then, while he'd been trying to regain his balance, he saw them. They were unlike anything he could readily put a name to; inky black beings with yellow eyes that seemed to waver in front of his sight like the mirage of an oasis in the desert.

There were hundreds, thousands of them, appearing out of thin air as if conjured and Seifer had braced himself to fight what would be a futile battle when a sudden wave of vertigo had struck and he lost consciousness. When next aware of his surroundings, Seifer came to swinging, sure he'd been taken by whatever had invaded his home. When a surprised grunt betrayed that his fist had connected with a very human face, he opened his eyes to see a man slightly older than himself, with an eerily similar scar to his own, rubbing his jaw. That was how he first met Squall Leonhart. Not a very auspicious beginning but everyone has to start somewhere.

Once he'd been fed and given a change of clothes, Leon took the time to fill him in on what was going on. The beings that he'd seen invading Twilight Town were called Heartless and no one knew exactly where they came from or what they really wanted.

"The only thing we know for certain is that they seem to thoroughly enjoy killing even though they display no outward show of emotions. We have yet to truly determine what they are since every time we seem to get our hands on one, it dies before we can get any concrete information on it; it's like they have some sort of built in self destruct."

"So what are they, some kind of constructs?"

Leon shrugged. "That's just it: we don't know. We do know some things about how they operate, however. The Heartless employ 'divide and conquer' techniques in order to frighten and demoralize their opponents when they first invade any new area; that would be the vertigo you felt before you blacked out. The heartless possess a type of warp technology that allows them to transport large groups of people from one place to another at random. We aren't sure what happens to those left behind but we can guess."

Leon's face and voice were grim as he relayed this information to a rather surprised Seifer. "There doesn't even seem to be any discernable pattern to the people taken; sometimes it's just an individual, sometimes an entire family or town. Not everyone taken ends up in the same area, either. I even found an instance where every member of a five person family had ended up in separate locations thousands of miles apart from one another even though they'd been in the same room when taken." Surprisingly enough, and against the odds, the majority of Twilight Town's population had ended up in roughly xcthe same place.

There was some hope in the midst of all the impending darkness, however. The one thing the Heartless hadn't counted on was humanity's resilience and will to fight, even when faced with insurmountable odds. Bands of resistance fighters had sprung up all around Gaia and were mounting a defensive against the invaders. A fairly vast network of supply and information lines had also formed and continued to spread offering hope to those that had lost nearly everything. Slowly, very slowly, the people were fighting back and if they weren't winning, they were at least holding their own.

Once cleared for travel, Seifer had packed up the few things he owned, followed Leon to his current base of operations and joined the fight. Shortly after arriving he'd found Fujin and Raijin and the trio began doing what they could to help the resistance.

_It's just not enough, though. I need to step up the weapons training in case we're suddenly attacked and I should probably have a talk with some of the engineers about p[;bolstering the defenses of the camp. I wonder if we sent out another scouting party we'd have time to salvage that abandoned rig to the west…maybe we could even…_

"Seifer?"

Musings interrupted, Seifer stopped walking and looked around for the source of his name. He didn't have long to look as a short brunette walked out from between two tents and stopped in front of him. Eyes narrowed he supplied a name with the face. "Olette?"

Olette nodded and nervously began clasping and unclasping her hands. "I'm sorry to bother you; I saw you with Leon a few days ago but you looked kind of busy and I didn't want to interrupt."

Seifer nodded and, noticing the way she kept fidgeting, tried to soften his face a little. Not much, but a little. She may be one of _his_ friends but she was still a girl. "You having trouble with anyone here? I can always point out the error of their ways."

"No," Olette shook her head, "that's not it. I just… I was wondering if you've maybe seen Hayner anywhere? He had kind of a nasty fight with Roxas before all of this happened and we thought he was still just pissed off and avoiding him but we've searched and no one seems to have seen him."

As Olette had been speaking, that nagging feeling from this morning had returned full force and Seifer was suddenly feeling a little sick. "I haven't seen him but I'm sure he's around somewhere." _He has to be. _"Leon keeps an updated list of everyone that has entered or left the camp; I'm sure Hayner's name is on it somewhere. I have to go report in anyway so I'll take a look at it while I'm there and let the chickenwuss know you're looking for him."

Giving him a small smile, Olette let out a relieved sigh and thanked Seifer before walking back the way she came. Seifer, in the meantime, picked up his pace and very nearly ran to the manor house. Entering Leon's office without even a cursory knock this time around he stopped with his hands on the older man's desk, which had gotten even more cluttered since this morning. "I need the list of all people who have entered or left the camp in the weeks since you found me."

Leon raised an eyebrow and leaned back in his chair. "Well hello to you too." A moment of silence, then…"I take it you have a need other than to satisfy a random curiosity." Opening the bottom left drawer of what Leon privately thought of as his personal prison, he removed a sheaf of papers with rows of names on them and passed the stack over to Seifer who immediately began scanning the pages.

When he had finished the last page he looked angry and a little alarmed. "This list can't be complete; you're missing someone."

"I assure you we're not. That list is the most up to date roster we have; it was delivered to me by Quistis this morning."

Feeling the blood drain from his face, the blonde bully sat down heavily in a nearby chair. "Not possible. He has to be here; he's too fucking irritating to…"

"_I don't need a reason to fight; just looking at your face pisses me off…"_

A look of concern crossed Leon's face before he stood and moved to stand by the chair Seifer currently inhabited. "Look, it's possible someone was missed; there are quite a few people here. I'll go grab a few extra hands and we'll do a quick canvas of the camp. Who are you looking for?"

"Hayner. His name is Hayner Rhodes."

Nodding, Leon exited his office, calling out names as he went. Within fifteen minutes a reasonably sized group had been assembled and was spread throughout the camp, searching for the younger teen. Whatever spark of hope there may have been in Seifer at the beginning of the search found itself extinguished a couple of hours later.

"I'm sorry, Seifer, there isn't anyone here that has seen him. No one knows where he is." Quistis looked at the scarred blonde with sympathy as he numbly stared off into the distance.

"_God you really __**piss me off**__."_

"SEIFER?" Fuu and Rai had come up beside him, but he wasn't paying any attention.

"_I wish I'd never even fucking met you in the first place."_

"I'm sure he's alright, ya know?"

"_I hate even looking at you…"_

"It'll be fine, you'll see." Quistis said, looking to the rest of Seifer's gang for support. "There's no real reason to worry; there are dozens of other camps in the immediate area we can send word to. I'm sure we'll be able to find him in no time at all."

"_Nothing would make me happier than if you were to just disappear."_

Seifer half listened as plans were made to spread Hayner's description to the nearby settlements but he couldn't even find the energy to join in. At the moment though, none of it mattered…Hayner wasn't _**here**__._

He wasn't here and Seifer didn't know where he was.

* * *

><p>Hayner did whatever he thought of to keep himself from going crazy. Although, if he did go crazy, would he even notice? In the six months since he'd found himself alone, the young skater had explored the boundaries of his prison from edge to edge and had slowly begun coming to terms with how things would be for, most likely, the rest of his life. In the beginning, it had been hard for Hayner to even muster the energy to move; the waves of depression and panic just seemed to crash into him far too quickly for him to recover.<p>

Eventually, though, the drive for self preservation kicked in and Hayner began to try. He started by finding himself a place to stay; as creepy as it was to just walk in and take what was someone else's home until recently, it was still necessary. Once established, he set himself a routine in order to keep himself going. Get up, get dressed, eat. Keep moving. Go tend the garden he'd started, clean up, explore more of the area. Keep moving. Eat, work out, read, maybe watch a movie, try and fix something. Keep moving. Eat, wash up, go to bed. Get up again the next day and repeat. As long as he continually told himself to keep moving, he would.

Feeling at least partially in control helped Hayner to preserve his delicate mental balance though he couldn't control everything. No matter what he did, or how exhausted he was at the end of the day, the nightmares still came. Sometimes he dreamt of the argument; sometimes he watched from the sidelines, screaming at himself to stop, to not say the things he didn't mean. In others he cried and begged for forgiveness as the people that mattered most to him turned and walked away. In the end it didn't really matter which one he saw as he tried to sleep, he always woke up crying and alone. Always fucking alone.

* * *

><p>Seifer checked his bags one last time as he prepared to enter what would be his cabin aboard the Ifrit. After a year helping to establish a permanent settlement in place of the temporary refugee camp he'd first come to, he was finally leaving. All efforts to find Hayner in the areas surrounding the city of tents had proved in vain and he was now taking the next step in order to find the younger male. Nor was he the only one. Fuu and Rai had decided to accompany him though he'd been hesitant to ask; they had a good place here and he hated to uproot them. While he'd argued with himself over whether to ask or not, Fuu had made the decision for him: "NOT ALONE." She'd declared, arms crossed, and that was that.<p>

Roxas, Pence and Olette were leaving as well. They'd never really settled in here and Roxas seemed to be carrying around a fair amount of guilt in regards to his missing friend. Seifer could empathize; he was hauling around a pretty heavy load himself. Both groups had agreed to head in opposite directions, hunting for any sign of the missing skater and each would contact the other if anything was found.

Walking up the gangplank into the main hold of the Ifrit, Seifer turned and waved his farewell to Leon, who would be moving onto other, harder hit areas as well. "Good luck and be careful. I'll let you know if I hear anything."

Seifer nodded his thanks and turned towards the interior as the outer doors began to close. It was going to be a long journey.

_Hold on Hayner, I'm coming._

_A/N- I liked a great deal of this chapter though there are parts I'm not sure I'm happy with. I did at least manage my goal of finishing the next chapter fairly quickly, however. I hope you like it and that it doesn't disappoint! Comments/critiques are always welcome. _


	3. Shattered Perceptions

**Chapter 3: Shattered Perceptions**

Nearly two years to the day that he'd been stranded in his own personal hell, Hayner Rhodes had finally cracked. At least that was what he figured when he woke up hearing voices. _Had to happen sometime, I guess._ Sighing a little to himself, Hayner pulled himself out of bed and prepared to face his eminent insanity. He got dressed, had breakfast and moved outside to tend his garden. After about an hour, however, Hayner noticed that while the new voices in his head had been a quiet murmur when he awoke, they were increasing in volume as the morning progressed. They also seemed to be coming from the direction of the beach. _Might as well see what my voices are arguing about; you'd think that being crazy would be a little quieter._

Coming out on top of the ridge that lined one side of the beach, Hayner stopped and stared at the scene below him. _Hallucinating, I'm obviously hallucinating. _Rubbing his eyes, Hayner just shook his head in disbelief; there, sitting where the sand met water, was an airship and standing in front of it were three people, one of which was gesturing wildly and making a great deal of noise. Running his hands through his hair, Hayner took an unsteady breath and stepped forward for a better look. _I have absolutely, completely lost my mind…hell doesn't usually garner visitors…_

Swallowing hard, Hayner stood, at war with himself. _I…have nothing to lose by checking it out. _He laughed mirthlessly to himself. _After all, I'm already stuck in hell; how much worse can it get?_

* * *

><p>Cloud Strife had been called many things over the years but today, patient would not be one of them. After his airship, the Bahamut, had begun losing altitude, Cloud had been forced to make an emergency landing on the nearest piece of land he could find. That wasn't what currently had him pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration, however; that honor (such as it was) was currently reserved for the red haired, ponytailed Turk that was having an argument with his partner.<p>

"It **can't** be the intakes because they were just serviced. I'm telling you it has to be a problem with the stabilizers!" Reno protested, gesturing wildly.

"The stabilizers are fine, it's the intakes." His long-suffering partner replied.

"**No, **it's **Not**. I serviced the intakes myself, it has to be **the stabilizers**. And another thing…hey, Cloud, where ya going?"

"For a walk. I need to clear my head…and my ears."

Putting his sunglasses on, Cloud turned away from the Turks and stopped.

"Cloud?"

"There's someone up on that ridge."

Coming to stand next to the spikey-haired blonde, Reno shaded his eyes and looked up. "Can't be, this place is deserted, has been for years."

"I'm telling you, I saw movement."

"And I'm telling you you've been out in the sun too long; there's no one…"

"There." Cloud interrupted, pointing.

Squinting a little in the sunlight, Reno stared for a minute and then saw the movement that had first caught Cloud's attention. "It's probably just a Heartless, I'll take it out and come right back."

"I don't think that's a Heartless." Reno's partner, Rude, started to say…but Reno hadn't heard and was already charging up the ridge.

With a sigh and a shrug, Rude started up the ridge behind him with Cloud close behind. Before reaching the top of the ridge, however, they stopped as they heard an exclamation of surprise and a muffled oath.

"Reno? You okay?"

"Uh…well…it wasn't a heartless."

Gaining the top of the ridge, Cloud came up next to Reno and looked down at the blonde that was lying crumpled on the ground. "Uh…I'm fairly certain I didn't kill him…"

Leveling a glare at the redhead, Rude crouched down and checked for a pulse. "He's alive."

Adjusting his glasses, Cloud turned back towards the airship. "Bring him onboard and then go check the town; we need to know if people have suddenly shown up here."

Rude nodded and bent down to shoulder the unconscious young man. "Nice going."

"What? What did I do? If it had been a heartless…hey, wait up!"

* * *

><p>"Did you find anyone else?"<p>

Shaking his head, Reno plopped down into a nearby chair. "The island is clear; we found a house with a well-tended garden-I'll assume that's where he was living-but there's no one else. He still out?"

"Yeah, but I don't think he'll be out for much longer…he was beginning to stir when I was in there a little while ago." Cloud stood and moved to a nearby window. "Tifa will kill me."

"Say what?"

"If we leave him behind, Tifa will kill me." Cloud replied, turning back to face the Turks. "I flew by here myself nearly two years ago; the heartless had hit here hard and there weren't any signs of habitation…where did he come from and how the hell did I miss him?"

Reno shrugged. "For all you know, he hasn't been here that long. I wouldn't worry about it, man." Standing with a stretch, Reno moved past the spikey-haired blonde towards the door. "I'll go check on our mystery boy."

_Gods, what hit me? I wasn't aware that hallucinations could hurt so much._ Hayner rubbed his head and groaned a little as his fingers encountered a particularly tender spot. _I probably just spent too much time outside in the sun…_

"Hey, you awake?"

At the unexpected sound, Hayner's eyes flew open to find himself looking up at a mass of bright red hair framing a smiling face.

"Oh good, I was afraid I'd hit you a harder than I thought. Sorry 'bout that, by the way; my name's Reno, nice to meet ya."

_Oh my god…_Hayner's eyes shifted around the room he was currently occupying in panic as the oblivious Turk continued to talk while moving towards the door. "We had no idea anyone was here, I mean, the place has been deserted for years. I don't know how long you've been here but I'm sure you're glad to see other people, I mean I would be."

Spying what almost looked like a struggle bat sitting in the corner, Hayner quietly rolled off the bed and grabbed it as the bedroom door opened and the (_hallucination, this is all just a hallucination)_ stuck his head in the hall and yelled for someone or something named Cloud. As the obnoxious red-haired figment began turning back, he raised the bat higher and adjusted his grip.

"Cloud was waiting for you to wake up so he could talk to you. I'm sure he'll be here in just a Whoah! Wait a minute!"

Taking aim, Hayner took a swing at Reno's head as the Turk jumped back into the hall. "Hey, hey! Take it easy, I'm not going to hurt ya!"

Footsteps quickly coming down the hall announced the arrival of the other two members currently on the Bahamut crew. "What's going on?"

"Don't ask me, the kid just came up swinging and _oomf_! Taking advantage of his distraction, Hayner came in lower and plowed the bat into Reno's midsection, doubling the Turk over before coming back and clocking him in the jaw.

While Rude bent over his partner to help him up, Cloud quickly went to the open doorway and took a look in. Wedged tightly in the farthest corner of the room, holding his bat in a death grip, was the boy they'd brought on board. Taking a closer look, Cloud took in the wide, panicky eyes, shallow breathing and pale skin before making a decision.

Turning back to the grumbling Turk sprawled in the hallway. "Go work on the ship."

"Are you kidding? That kid just whaled on me with a bat!"

"You hit him first. Go – work – on – the – ship."

Without waiting for the protest Reno had opened his mouth to make, Cloud stepped into the room and firmly shut the door behind him. Moving slowly to, hopefully, not spook the freaked out teen any further, he removed his glasses and then lifted his hands, palms out, to show they were empty. "I'm not going to hurt you. My name is Cloud."

"Don't come near me..." The boy, teen? (it was hard to tell he was so scrawny) replied in a strangled voice, hoisting the bat a little higher.

"I won't move, I promise. Can you at least tell me your name?"

"….Hayner….though why that would matter to a hallucination, I don't know."

"Hallucination? Why would you think I'm a hallucination?"

"What else would you be? I figure I've finally gone insane so there's nothing else you could be." Hayner swallowed. "And if by some small chance you were real and not just some figment of my imagination, you'd just disappear and I'd be alone again. It's my fault, all my fault." Voice cracking on that last word, Hayner's resolve seemed to waiver and he slowly slid down the wall, grip on the bat faltering, until he was sitting on the floor, shaking.

Slowly sinking into a crouch, Cloud lowered his hands and studied the quivering blonde with pity. "Why don't you just start at the beginning and tell me what happened?"

* * *

><p>Several hours later, a fairly grim looking Cloud emerged from the room, and went to check the progress of the repairs. He found Reno wedged, jacket off, between two of the massive stabilizers that helped to keep the Bahamut balanced while in the air; his partner sat nearby running a diagnostic on the engines. At the sound of footsteps, Reno squeezed himself back out into the open and grabbed a rag to wipe his hands. "Well?"<p>

Cloud sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Where do I begin? He knows nothing of the Heartless and actually thinks that ending up completely alone was his own fault."

Rude blinked a couple of times in surprise while his partner's jaw sagged open in shock. "How the hell does he figure that?"

"Apparently there was an incident before the Heartless attacked and some things were said that coincided with him ending up stranded alone." Cloud grimaced. "He's refusing to go into detail but it basically boils down to terrible timing. In any case, he completely blames himself and has been ever since it happened."

At this, Rude put the equipment aside and stood. "How long?"

"…approximately two years."

At this, both Turks went white and Rude actually removed his glasses to stare at the blonde standing in front of him. "Aerith?"

"I'm going to send her a message right now. Needless to say, he, his name is Hayner by the way, is severely mentally and emotionally scarred. I'm not sure he'll ever fully recover or if he does how long it will take, but the sooner we get him back to Twilight Town to be evaluated, the better." He eyed up the red-haired man before him. "Speaking of which, how are the repairs coming?"

"Ah…we're working on it?"

Sighing, Cloud turned to walk back to the bridge. "Just fix it; now more than ever we can't afford to stay here."

* * *

><p>Several more hours, half a dozen messages, and some swear words echoing down the corridors saw Hayner cautiously stick his head out of the room he'd been holed up in. Following the noise led him to what appeared to be an engine room with three very frustrated men in it.<p>

"I'm telling you I've checked those! I have no idea what the problem is but I can't find it!" Reno growled. "I still say it's the stabilizers; I've checked the intakes and, other than that I just don't know!"

"Engines tested out fine." Rude added.

Sighing, Cloud scrubbed at his face in frustration. "Alright, start from the top again and I'll go call Tifa and see if we can get another transport out here in the meantime. Reno, why don't you…" The sound of a throat clearing from behind stopped Cloud from finishing his sentence. He turned around to look at Hayner in surprise; the Turks looked like breathing hard would shatter the blonde teen.

"I…couldn't help but hear you're having problems." He said quietly, crossing his arms and looking down off to the right.

"Sorry if we bothered you but yes, we are having some difficulty."

Hayner looked as if he was thinking hard about something before he looked up. "…I can take a look if you want."

Reno's eyebrows rose. "You have experience with mechanical repairs?"

"I learned…there wasn't anything else to do so I read a lot." He shrugged. "I spent a lot of time taking things apart and putting them back together again. I just thought maybe I could help…" Hayner's voice trailed off in uncertainty and Cloud looked for a minute like he wanted to kick Reno.

"If you'd take a look, I'd appreciate it."

Leveling a glare at the red-haired Turk, Cloud watched as Hayner skirted around the edge of the trio and hesitantly began checking different aspects of the Bahamut's engines. Rude was a little more direct as he smacked the back of his partner's head.

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"What part of mentally unstable did you not understand earlier?"

"I had a right to ask…he's, what, twelve?"

Cloud pinched the bridge of his nose. "He's nineteen and all I'm asking is that you watch what you say and do around him; at least until we can get him to Aerith."

"Yeah, okay. I guess it doesn't matter if he does have a look…it's not like he'll find what's wrong anyway."

As Reno reached up in a stretch, the Bahamut's engines suddenly roared back to life with full force. As the dumbfounded Turk stared open-mouthed at Hayner, Cloud asked him what the problem was.

"…one of the intakes was clogged…pretty badly, too."

Reno shut his mouth with a snap and glared at his partner, who was looking at him with raised eyebrows. "Not **one** word."

Cloud rolled his eyes before smiling at the timid teen. "Let's just get out of here."

A/N: Omg it took me forever! I originally had wanted to get farther than this for this chapter but it seemed like I just kept writing and I couldn't get off the damn island! *huffs* I'm sorry the update took so long and while I'm a little iffy on this particular chapter, things should be picking up a bit in the next. I honestly didn't expect it to take me 7 pages to rescue Hayner. -.-;

If I take this long with a chapter again, I give you permission to send me a message kicking me in my lazy rear. Hope the update is okay and comments/reviews are appreciated! 3


	4. Two Steps Forward

_A/N: Just a reminder that lines in italics are thoughts and italics with quotes are memories; this applies to current memories as well as dreams._

**Chapter 4: Two Steps Forward**

"_Hayner! Hey, Hayner! Wait up a second."_

_Hayner turned at the sound of his best friend's voice across the sandlot and waited for the blue-eyed blonde to catch up. "Hey Roxas. What's up?"_

"_Hey, me and some others were going to go to the club tonight, you wanna come? There's this guy that works there I'm sure you'd like."_

_Hayner sighed. "Not again, Rox, I told you I'm not interested in dating anyone."_

"_That's what you always say."_

"_Yeah, and I'm going to __**keep**__ saying it until you get it." Hayner replied, crossing his arms._

"_Come on Hayner, at least give me a good reason why not; I'm sure if you'd just give one of these guys a try, you'd really like one of them."_

_At Hayner's silence, Roxas sat on a nearby bench and regarded his friend with suspicion. "You aren't dating someone and are too embarrassed to tell me who, are you?"_

_Rolling his eyes. "No, Rox, I'm not dating anyone."_

"_Damn, Hayner, then what's the problem? I'd swear if I didn't know any better that you were already in love with someone." Roxas said with a smirk, joking. When Hayner didn't automatically deny the statement, the smirk left the blonde's face and he sat up a little straighter. "Oh my gods, who?"_

"_It doesn't matter." Hayner replied, looking uncomfortable._

"_Oh come on! I'm your best friend, Hayner; the least you can do is tell me! Maybe there's something I could do to help get the guy's attention." When Hayner still wouldn't answer, Roxas huffed in frustration. "Jeeze, the way you're acting it's someone really terrible like Seifer."_

_Joking again, and expecting an exclamation of denial, Roxas' eyes grew huge as he took in the way Hayner wouldn't look at him and the way his lips were compressed as if to keep whatever he had to say locked behind them._

"_Hayner, tell me you aren't serious." Silence. "We are talking about __**Seifer fucking Almasy**__! He's made our lives hell since the third grade! He beats on you at least once a week and don't get me started on the insults!"_

"_I know, Rox, but I—"_

"_You're going out with me tonight if I have to drag you. I do not fucking care if you want to or not. You're going to come with me, I'm going to introduce you to Max and you are going to get over this stupid infatuation."_

"_It's not infatuation."_

"_Of course it is!" Roxas said, standing. "It can't possibly be anything else and the sooner you realize that, the better. Now, I will pick you up at 6 and we'll head on over…"_

_Finally having enough of Roxas refusing to listen, Hayner spun around and yelled. "It's not infatuation! I've been in love with Seifer for __**four fucking years**__! I can barely remember a time when I wasn't in love with him and I'll probably still be in love with him when I die. You think I don't know that he won't ever feel the same way? That he'd probably beat me bloody if he ever found out? Yes! I know that! I can't help but know that but it doesn't fucking matter. I've tried getting over it, I've thought about telling him just so he would beat me senseless and maybe I'd be able to move on. It doesn't matter! I'm still in love with the insensitive bastard and that's never going to change!"_

_Venting finally finished, Hayner stood, breathing hard, while Roxas stared at him in shock. After a minute, Roxas' eyes shifted off of his friend's face and he made a strangled noise in the back of his throat. Whipping his head around to see what had caught Roxas' attention, Hayner stared in shock and growing horror at what he saw. Standing at the entrance to the sandlot, eyes wide, was Seifer…and he'd obviously heard everything._

* * *

><p>Waking with a start, Hayner sat up quickly and then promptly buried his head in his hands, shaking. <em>It's been how long and I still can't get over it? Gods I'm pathetic. <em>

"Hayner? Are you okay?"

Pulling his hands away from his face, Hayner straightened up a little and attempted to look normal as a face appeared from around the door. "I heard a noise…I thought you might've had a nightmare again."

Hayner swallowed before nodding a little. "It's fine…I'm fine." A look of disbelief prompted him to offer more reassurances. "Really, Rikku, I'm fine. It might not be the most pleasant way to wake up but I'm fairly used to that by now."

Still looking unconvinced, Rikku put her hands on her hips and huffed. "I know you don't want to talk about it, Hayner, but there are some of us that might understand. You could _try_…it might actually help."

Hesitating, the older teen looked to the side and ran a hand through his hair. "Look, I know you're trying to help…"

"But you aren't going to talk about it no matter how I push so I'll back off for now. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that there's breakfast downstairs, courtesy of Tifa."

"I'll be down in a minute."

Nodding, the blonde female trounced herself down the stairs, giving Hayner some privacy. With a sigh and a stretch, Hayner crawled out of the cot he'd been laying on and began rummaging for something to wear. It had been three months since his unexpected rescue from the island he'd been stranded on and life was returning, albeit slowly, to normal. Or at least to what would probably pass for normal in Hayner's case.

Good to his word, Cloud had taken him back to Twilight Town where the group of resistance fighters he belonged to were currently working. Upon arrival, Hayner was quickly but carefully handed over to their resident healer, Aerith, who spent some time evaluating his mental and physical health. She declared that he wasn't as bad off as he could have been, physically, but that he was going to need time and a great deal of therapy to take care of his mental instability. It was fairly quickly found out that he was originally from Twilight Town and that it might be possible to find someone he knew that could provide the support he needed in order to recover fully.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the case as everyone Hayner was familiar with had disappeared in the initial attack and there was no one left that he felt comfortable with. At this point, there wasn't anyone he felt comfortable with _at all_ anymore. Prolonged time alone had left Hayner painfully wary of any and every one he met and while he could tolerate being in the same room with people, he shied away from any type of physical contact unless _absolutely_ necessary. Even then it was difficult for the teen to put up with.

After spending a few weeks roaming the familiar streets of his home, the strain could be seen on his face and in the way he moved; it was just too difficult to remain somewhere that no longer had the people he most needed to find. As the group of resistance members were very nearly done with their work, Cloud had volunteered to take Hayner and the materials they had acquired back to their permanent base of operations in Hollow Bastion.

Hollow Bastion was a rather large, heavily fortified city that served as the central hub for the resistance forces on Gaia. Most anything could be found here if you knew where to look and, if you didn't, someone knew where to send you. The crowds of people had at first terrified Hayner but, after a while, they became almost a source of comfort. Hayner was nothing more than another face in the crowd, yet another refugee fleeing the war in search of safety. The obscurity offered its own blessing.

Hayner was registered on the list of 'recently relocated' and a place was found for him. Resisting all attempts at an apartment within the city center, Hayner instead chose a place in need of serious repair on the outskirts, near a sheltered lake. Reno had some choice words for the place such as 'derelict' and 'house shaped carcass' but Hayner just ignored him and told him to come back in a few days. Those few days were all he'd actually needed to start making the place habitable and while Reno just stared in shock at the progress he'd made, Hayner just shrugged and said he was used to keeping busy.

Finding a job had been surprisingly easy, considering Hayner's desire for personal space. Keeping his repair skills in mind, Cloud brought him by the service dock for the airships that were constantly in and out on patrols or supply runs. Upon introduction to Cid, the man that oversaw the repairs as well as ran a smaller nearby shop, and after a small demonstration that he did indeed know what he was doing, Hayner was hired and began working right that day. This led him back to where he currently was, in a small room above Cid's shop that served as a small sleep space should it be too late to safely make the trip home.

Fishing a clean shirt and pants out of a pile Hayner kept here for just this need, he quickly dressed himself and descended the stairs towards the smell of food. Rounding the corner into what served as an impromptu kitchen and break area Hayner found Rikku and Cid already seated at the only table eating while Tifa, owner of a local bar and restaurant, was serving up another plate for him. Cid eyed him over a cup of coffee, cigarette dangling from his left hand, as he sat down. "Late night?"

"Yeah. I practically rebuilt that engine; I honestly didn't expect it to cause me so much trouble." Hayner grimaced. "I don't even know if it'll work and if it doesn't, I don't know what else to try."

"It'll work." Rikku piped up. "Everything you try your hand on works."

"Thanks for the confidence." He said with a slight smile.

"We'll test the engine after breakfast. We have another ship due in today so I want to try and clear the smaller jobs out of the way before then." Cid put in around a mouthful of food.

Digging into the plate Tifa placed in front of him, Hayner had a few bites before he responded. "Supply ship?"

"Actually," Tifa interjected "while this particular ship and crew normally do ferry materials for us, this time they're also bringing some extra passengers."

"Refugees?"

"Kind of. They aren't recent and have been traveling a while on some kind of quest."

Cid snorted into his coffee. "_Quest?_ How archaic can you get?"

Arms crossed, Tifa leaned back on the counter she'd set the food on. "Call it what you will." She shrugged. "Regardless of what their reasons are, they chartered passage and will be arriving aboard the ship."

"Best we get started then." Draining the last of his coffee and stubbing out his cigarette, Cid stood and stretched. "Rikku, go open the shop; Hayner, I'll come help you with that engine as soon as I grab a few things from stores."

Shoveling the last of his breakfast in his mouth as the other two departed, Hayner stood and moved his dishes to the sink. "Thanks Tifa."

"Anytime." She said with a smile. "Oh, and Hayner?" He turned as he got to the door. "You don't have to be such a stranger; stop by and see us soon. Yuffie is nagging and Cloud has some downtime coming up."

Nodding, Hayner left the room and made his way towards the repair shop; it was time to start another long day.

* * *

><p>Seifer Almasy was tired. Over a year of searching, two since he'd been ripped from his home, and he was still no closer to finding the sole reason for his journey. Moving from place to place, seeing the destruction and grief left in the wake of war, had only strengthened his resolve to find the sandy-haired teen rather than diminished it. He had vowed to find Hayner regardless of the cost and he meant it. Before he could begin to brood in earnest, however, a knock on the door to his cabin interrupted his thoughts.<p>

Fujin, one of his best friends and a fellow member of what was once the Twilight Disciplinary Committee, entered followed by her boyfriend and the other member of the committee, Raijin. "CLOSE."

Seifer nodded and stood. "How long?"

"15 MINUTES."

"I'll meet you on the bridge in a minute."

Fujin nodded and both left Seifer to gather his things. It had been a stroke of luck booking passage on this airship; the Strahl normally didn't do passengers but as she hadn't had a full hold of materials, the captain had agreed to take them on. They were currently headed for a city called Hollow Bastion, said to be the hub for the entirety of the resistance. It was also the biggest information network available and if there was to be any serious hope of finding Hayner, it would be there. Exiting his cabin with his duffel, Seifer made his way to the bridge in order to watch their approach and decent into the city.

The captain, Balthier, nodded to him as he came to stand behind and to the left of the captain's chair. "We're on final approach and should be landing shortly. You can see the service platform and docks just over there." He motioned to the right with his chin.

Seifer nodded and shifted his weight to move with the sudden lowering of the Strahl as she made her way into dock.

"So what brings you to Hollow Bastion, anyway?" Vaan, Balthier's co-pilot asked suddenly. Balthier gave him a look for asking and he blushed before hurriedly continuing on. "Not that it's any of my business, I was just wondering."

Seifer was silent for a moment before shrugging. "I'm looking for someone; his name is Hayner. He's been missing…a long time."

At the mention of the name, Vaan looked as though he was thinking hard about something but as he opened his mouth to say something, the Strahl landed with a soft bump. "And there we are; Hollow Bastion as promised." Balthier said with a smile. "We have supplies to unload and then a service crew will be onboard to check us over. The place you're going to be looking for is right near here; ask anyone and they'll be able to point you to it."

Seifer nodded his thanks and, shouldering his bag, made his way off the ship followed by his two constant companions.

Vaan watched them leave with the same expression of 'I'm trying to remember something and failing' that he'd had before landing. "And what is bothering you?" Balthier asked, standing.

"I don't know…something about the name they said sounds familiar but I just can't place it." Vaan sighed. "I know it's going to drive me crazy until I figure it out."

With a smirk, Balthier reached down and yanked the younger man up and into his arms. "How about I take your mind off of it, hmm? After all, that's what the leading man is for, is it not?"

* * *

><p>Seifer was off the ship and about halfway across the ship yard before he realized he was missing something. Checking his pockets, he let out a small curse and stopped. "I left my beanie onboard; I'm going to go back for it really quick."<p>

"STAY?"

"No, you go on ahead and I'll catch up."

"I'll take your bag; no sense in hauling it back, ya know?"

"Thanks, Rai, I won't be long." Handing his bag off to his friend, Seifer turned around and jogged back onto the Strahl.

* * *

><p>Completely focused on the task at hand, Hayner didn't notice Rikku until she bent over behind his left ear and blew on it. Jumping with surprise, he grabbed his ear and leveled a glare at the laughing girl behind him. "I tried getting your attention the normal way but it wasn't working." She said, grinning.<p>

"Perhaps you could try harder next time."

Rikku just laughed again and started back the way she came. Cid says the airship is here and he wants you to head on over to start on it."

"I'll be right there." Gathering a small toolkit and a handheld diagnostics device, Hayner left the shop and began to walk the short distance to the airfield.

* * *

><p>After some searching, Seifer had finally found his missing beanie under the bed and was now hurrying to catch up with Fuu and Rai. Lost in thought, he barely noticed the door from a nearby repair shop open to let someone through. He walked along for another six steps before a gasp of surprise and the sound of something dropping made his stop and turn around. There, pale and staring with wide eyes, tools dropped from suddenly numb fingers, was Hayner.<p>

_A/N: Yay! This is the point I had originally wanted to get to in the last chapter but I think it was better this way. Lol I am an evil, evil person for leaving it here but it will be worth it. :3_


	5. Lost and Found

**A/N: **This story now officially has a theme song: Don't Fight It by 10 years. Go check it out if you want. :)

**Chapter 5: Lost and Found**

Seifer and Hayner just stood and stared in shock at each other, neither ever expecting to find the other like this. Hayner stood, mute, while everything Seifer had to say lodged in his throat, somewhere around where his heart currently was, and refused to move. In the silence, however, memories came, unbidden.

_Hayner had stood in shock and horror as he realized the man he'd yearned after for years had heard him confessing…well, screaming anyway….just that to his best friend. As Seifer seemed to come back to himself, he opened his mouth to say something and Hayner turned tail and ran, ignoring Roxas as he called after him. Hayner didn't even care where he ended up as long as it wasn't where he had to see the expression on Seifer's face. He was eventually forced to stop in his desperate need for escape by the pesky need to breathe and as he slowed down he looked to see where he'd ended up. Recognizing the area somewhere south of the train station only vaguely, Hayner walked at random until coming to an unoccupied pier where he leaned on the rail with crossed arms and stared at the water. He didn't have long with his thoughts, however as heavy footsteps behind him had him stiffening in response. He didn't need to see who it was; he already knew._

_Straightening a little, Hayner closed his eyes. "I guess you've got a new reason to want to fight now, huh?" He turned just enough to catch a glimpse of Seifer's face before turning back to the ocean. He'd looked pissed; pissed and something else Hayner couldn't identify and frankly didn't want to. He felt sick._

"_I don't need a reason to fight; just looking at your face pisses me off…"_

_Hayner nodded a little to himself and then turned around, only moderately ready to face what he knew would come next. Seifer stood a little apart, hands balled at his sides, barely even winded though he'd obviously chased after Hayner in his headlong flight. "If you don't need a reason, what are you waiting for?" Hayner lifted his chin. "Or are you afraid some part of me will rub off on you?"_

"_God you really __**piss me off**__." Seifer said, moving forward._

"_Well, you really piss __**me**__ off! All my problems started when I met you!"_

_Hayner barely had time to brace himself as Seifer's fist solidly connected with his face. He stumbled back a few steps and then launched himself at the older male, all his rage and upset evidenced in the attack. As Seifer was knocked to the ground, he deftly used Hayner's momentum to flip the blond over his head to land hard on his back. While Hayner attempted to get air back in his lungs, Seifer straddled the teen and pinned him to the ground._

"_Get the fuck off of me!"_

"_Why? I thought this was what you wanted?" Seifer responded with a sneer. Hayner saw red as his breath hitched and then he began struggling to free himself. "Fucking __**Bastard! I hate you!**__" Seeing an opening as Seifer shifted in order to keep him held down, Hayner brought his right leg up just enough to kick the blonde bully in the chest and send him flying back. Hayner scrambled up and back as Seifer picked himself off of the ground._

"_I wish I'd never even fucking met you in the first place." Seifer snarled. "I hate even looking at you…" A moment of silence punctuated only by the sound of breathing, and then…"Nothing would make me happier than if you were to just disappear."_

_That last was said with such venom that Hayner was taken aback. He stared in wide-eyed shock as he felt the tears begin to prick the back of his eyes. "I knew you didn't like me, Seifer, I just never knew how much you hated me." He took a breath and then fell back on the anger that was still bubbling below the surface. "Gods, I wish I'd never met you! You want me gone? You never want to see me again? __**Fine! **__I'm gone and if I have my way I'll disappear to someplace where I will never have to look at your face ever again." Without waiting to see if Seifer would respond with anything else, Hayner spun on his heel and ran off, this time without the bully in pursuit._

* * *

><p>Nearly two and a half years of regrets and separation flashed by in an instant and Hayner braced himself for the worst. Breaking eye contact, he brought his hands up and hugged himself. "I…" He swallowed and tried again. "I know…you never wanted to see me again…" A pause. "I…I'll…stay out of your way…you…you won't even know I'm here."<p>

Seifer watched as Hayner withdrew into himself, but he still couldn't get the things he desperately needed to say past his lips. It wasn't until he saw Hayner backing up towards the doorway he'd come from that he managed to shake himself from the shock that had kept him still and silent. _I can't let him leave; it's like losing him all over again when I just found him._

Mobility regained, Seifer sprung forward and grabbed Hayner by the arm, pulling him into a tight embrace. Hayner let out a surprised squeak and then went completely still with shock, waiting for the blow to come. Instead, Seifer tightened his arms more and dropped his forehead onto Hayner's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Hayner. I'm so sorry. I swear I didn't mean it; I didn't mean any of it. I'm sorry…I'm sorry…I'm so sorry."

Eyes wide, Hayner's breath hitched and a shudder passed through his body before his knees gave out and he sank to the ground, Seifer sinking with him as he refused to release his hold on the younger man. Hayner's hands came up and clutched the front of Seifer's shirt as the first sob escaped him and he buried his face in the older blonde's chest. Seifer just closed his eyes, moved one hand up to cup the back of Hayner's head and held him while he cried.

* * *

><p>"Rikku? Rikku! Where the hell is that girl?" Cid stomped through the shop with his armload of supplies, nearly dropping half of them as he struggled to move through a particularly tight doorway. "RIKKU!" Losing the battle with balance, one of the parts from the top of his pile toppled and, in what seemed to be slow motion, landed square on Cid's foot. Sending off a couple of choice expletives about useless workers he dropped the rest of the pile and limped off in search of the missing girl.<p>

Coming up to the door leading out to the main yard, Cid finally spotted Rikku dancing a little in the doorway as she stared at something outside. Letting out a frustrated grunt, Cid opened his mouth to yell when the object of his ire suddenly spun her head around and lunged for his mouth with her hands, effectively cutting off any sound he had planned on making.

"Sssshhhh!" Hands clamped tightly over her boss's mouth, Rikku glanced over her shoulder to see if anything had filtered through the door to the scene taking place outside before shoving Cid farther from the opening. Irritated with the seemingly erratic behavior of his youngest employee, Cid pried Rikku's hands away from his mouth after she'd only gotten him to move a few steps.

"What the hell has gotten into you? I was calling for you and here I find you're goofing off…" A noise from the still open door caught Cid's attention. "Just what the hell is going on out there, anyway?" Shoving Rikku to one side, Cid began stalking back the way he'd come when he was tackled from behind and sent sprawling face down on the floor.

"God dammit, Rikku! Just what-?"

"You can't go out there! Hayner's out there and there's this guy! And, and…"

"Hayner?" Worry flitted across Cid's face until the sound of a sob turned it to anger. "If there's someone hurting that boy, there will be hell to pay…" Fueled by a sense of what, for Cid, could almost be described as righteous fury, the older mechanic finally pushed past a still protesting Rikku to take in the scene outside. He'd expected…something quite different from what he actually found and the reality of what he was seeing left him temporarily speechless. Opening and closing him mouth a few times, Cid finally backed up and, shoving the once again dancing Rikku out of the way, shut the door.

After a moment of silence, Cid turned and shoved Rikku back towards the main area of the shop. "Go call Tifa."

Rikku turned back towards the now shut door. "But, can't I just…?"

"No."

"But I just want…"

"No."

"But, Cid!"

"NOW, Rikku!"

* * *

><p>After what seemed like an eternity to Seifer, Hayner's sobs began to die down, though he continued to shake. Throughout the entire torrent, the elder blonde had just held the younger male, occasionally running a hand soothingly down his back, while the tears had run their course. Meanwhile, his own thoughts were running around in their own furious circles.<p>

_I've found him; I can't believe I've finally found him. Gods, he's so pale…why the hell is he so thin? He looks like he's been through hell…_

The sound of a throat clearing softly nearby had Seifer lifting his head to see a young woman, maybe in her twenties, with dark hair and a leather vest standing a respectful distance away. Arms tightening imperceptibly around the now quiet Hayner, Seifer just raised a brow in her direction and waited.

She smiled. "I'm going to assume that you're Seifer? My name is Tifa; your friends Fuu and Rai made it to the center for new arrivals and are waiting for you." Her glance slid to Hayner and her gaze softened. "I know you probably don't want to move right now, but it might be best to at least sit down inside somewhere. Hayner?"

A long in drawn breath and then a slight nod from the younger blonde had Tifa smiling. "I'll see you at the center then; no rush." She nodded once to Seifer and then turned around and walked out of the yard towards a path that lead out to one of the main streets. After a minute more, Hayner moved to sit back and Seifer let him, though he didn't completely remove his arms. Hayner swallowed a couple of times before taking a breath and removing his hands from where they had been clenched in Seifer's shirt. "We should…get going."

As Hayner started to shift in order to stand, Seifer released his hold on the young male and brought his hands up to cup the sides of Hayner's face. Startled brown eyes met blue as Seifer gently used his thumbs to wipe the remaining tears away. "Hayner…I'm sorry." Hayner swallowed once and shifted his eyes away. "Yeah. Me too."

Seifer watched as Hayner stood and then did the same, walking close by as they made their way to the center for new arrivals where Seifer's other friends were already waiting. The walk was a fairly short one as the center was located only a few minutes away from the ship yard so as to make it easier on those unfamiliar with Hollow Bastion and its twisted maze of streets and back alleys. Hayner made his way up the three short steps to the front door and entered with Seifer close behind. Seated on a couch that was part of a larger seating area in the center of the main room were Fuu and Rai; Tifa stood nearby making conversation with another young woman Seifer didn't recognize. At the sound of footsteps, both turned and smiled. The unknown woman spoke first, coming forward with a hand outstretched.

"Hello, my name is Aerith."

Seifer took a step forward and shook the offered hand. "Seifer."

"It's nice to meet you, Seifer. Tifa and I have heard quite a bit from your two friends; it sounds like you've been on quite a journey."

"You could say that." He replied, his gaze glancing off to the side at his companion before returning to the woman in front of him.

"Well, there are some things that will need to be taken care of, especially if you all plan on staying…?"

"I'm not planning on going anywhere."

Aerith nodded as if that was what she expected and gestured to the seats behind her where Fuu and Rai were still waiting patiently. "Well then, if you'll take a seat, Tifa can begin the process of getting you registered and settled. Meanwhile, I believe Hayner and I have some things to discuss, don't we Hayner?"

Looking uncomfortable, Hayner nodded and glanced once at Seifer before following Aerith into a smaller side room. Seifer stood and watched him go, only taking a seat once the door to the smaller office was closed. Once seated, Tifa walked over to a nearby table and poured a double shot of Whiskey, returning to set it in front of Hollow Bastion's newest arrival.

"Drink it, it might help."

Not waiting for another invitation, Seifer took the shot glass and downed the entire contents in a single swig, grimacing as the liquid burned its way down his throat before settling like a hot coal in his stomach. He exhaled roughly. "Thanks."

Tifa nodded and took back the glass, noticing how the scarred man kept glancing at the door that was currently blocking his view of the reason for his search. "They really are just talking; Aerith won't do anything to upset or hurt him and while it may make Hayner uncomfortable, he understands why it's necessary."

He turned back to the dark haired woman, who had now seated herself with the trio. "And why would that be? If Hayner's been here for a while, why would talking make him so unhappy?" Seifer's expression darkened. "He hasn't had trouble here, has he?"

Tifa sighed and rested her chin in one of her hands. "If it were that easy one of us would have taken care of it." She shook her head. "No; this is something else entirely." Tifa's expression grew thoughtful as she stared at the scarred man before her and then she nodded as if coming to a decision. "Anyone here that needs to already knows this and I see no reason why you shouldn't as well; it's possible Hayner will tell you himself eventually, anyway." She sat back and crossed her arms.

"When the Heartless hit Twilight Town, Hayner ended up stranded alone on an island that had lost all of its original inhabitants; it was only within the last few months that he was found and rescued. His time alone, however, has made him extremely skittish around others, especially those he doesn't know well, and while he is physically in fairly good condition, his mental state remains unstable. Aerith has been in charge of assessing Hayner's moods and needs since he arrived here, though there's a limit to what she can do; Hayner hasn't opened up to anyone completely and until he does he'll never fully recover from his ordeal."

The sound of breathing was all that could be heard when Tifa had finished; Seifer looked shocked. He swallowed. "If he hadn't been found…I may never have managed to find him…"

"That is a distinct possibility." Tifa brightened. "Luckily, that isn't what happened. I just want you to be aware that he's a great deal more fragile than you may think and if you plan on staying around him, you may have to tread carefully for a while."

"I said I wasn't leaving." Seifer replied, almost harshly.

Tifa stood. "Well then, as you're set on staying, there are some things we need to take care of first."

* * *

><p>Two hours later, a mound of paperwork and some walking around had all but a couple of things settled for Seifer and his two friends. Sliding a folded up stack of papers into the inner pocket of his jacket, Seifer descended the stairs from an upper office back to the sitting area he'd started in and spotted Hayner sprawled face down on the couch he'd been sitting on earlier. Across from him on the other couch was a young girl with short black hair playing with a pair of materia. She said something to her flattened companion that Seifer didn't quite catch and then laughed as Hayner groaned in response.<p>

"I hate you so much right now."

The girl laughed again and then turned as footsteps announced Seifer's approach. She jumped up and raised a hand in greeting. "Hi! You must be Seifer! I'm Yuffie, nice to meet you!" Hayner grumbled something under his breath and Yuffie spun around, planting her hands on her hips. "Oh don't be such a baby, it wasn't _that_ much."

Seifer raised a brow in question and Yuffie smiled up at him. "He's just whining because I put a little whiskey in the tea I brought him earlier."

Hayner glared at the, in his opinion, entirely too perky girl, and attempted to lever himself up on his arms from where he lay prone. "If it had just been a little bit, it wouldn't be such an issue but as it was more like an entire bottle…"

"A single shot."

"It was more than that."

"Aerith barely had anything in there; I just helped the measuring out a bit."

"It was practically a big gulp of whiskey!"

Yuffie huffed. "Baby." She turned back to Seifer who was watching the exchange with mild interest. "He's not really upset that there was whiskey in it; he's just miffed because now he's tipsy and it wasn't his idea."

Seifer took a closer look at the young blonde's face and noticed the slightly flushed appearance to his cheeks and the way he wobbled slightly as he pushed himself off the couch to stand in front of it. "I'd say he may be a bit more than that."

Yuffie leveled a disgusted look in his direction and crossed her arms. "What are you all, lightweights?" She turned back to Hayner as Tifa, Fuu and Rai began making their way down from the same office Seifer had exited shortly before. "You need to come to the bar more often; I'll have you drinking like a pro in no time!"

Hayner just sighed and rolled his eyes. "I'll pass."

Tifa walked up to the trio and stopped. "Ah, I'm glad I caught you, Hayner; you have guest rooms at your place, don't you?"

Hayner blinked a couple of times. "Uh…yeah, I have three but I've only finished renovating one of them." He grimaced. "It didn't seem like such a big focus since I hadn't really anticipated having guests at any point in the near future."

"Hmmm. I guess that idea is out then; I was hoping you could house your friends for a while since I'm not sure I have apartments currently available for all of them." She checked a small list brought with her from the office. "I have a couple of apartments currently available for the taking but only one of them is ready to be used immediately and it only has one bedroom."

Fujin looked at her boyfriend and Seifer. "SHARE?"

Raijin shrugged. "We've had tighter and it would just be temporary, ya know?"

Tifa looked up from her papers towards Seifer, who hesitated a moment before responding. "Actually, you two could take the apartment and I could just stay with Hayner." He caught Hayner's startled look and continued. "If that's alright with you."

Hayner opened his mouth to say something, swallowed, and tried again. "That's…I mean, if you want to…I have the room…"

Tifa smiled. "Great! That will help a great deal and if you decide you'd like your own place later, we should have some more places ready by then. In the meantime," she turned to Fuu and Rai "I can show you what's available so you can make a decision and get settled." She turned at the sound of a door to see Aerith walking towards the group from her office.

"Hayner, Cid dropped by not too long ago."

Hayner groaned and buried his face in his hands. "The Strahl…shit! I forgot I was on my way to service her before…" He lowered his hands. "Can you call him and tell him I'm on my way? If I head over now I might be able to salvage some of his schedule."

"Actually," she shook her head "He sent another crew and said not to worry about it. He also said…" She hesitated…

"_So the boy's from Twilight Town?" Cid asked, taking a drag off his cigarette._

"_Yes, so it would seem. Though Hayner won't say exactly, I'd say this is one of the people he's had regrets about the most since he lost contact with everyone; this could actually be very good for Hayner."_

_Cid took another puff and began tapping his foot, lost in thought. "He's never really had a day off since he started here…always working, sometimes more than 12 hours in a day…" The tapping got a little faster. "Why don't you tell him to take a few days…maybe a week…" He brought the cigarette up to his lips and then looked at it with surprise to realize all he had left was the filter. Irritation warred with surprise; irritation won. "Just tell the kid that I don't want to see his scrawny ass in the shop unless I call for him!"_

Aerith continued. "He says he'll call you if he really needs you but until then you should take some time off."

Hayner looked mildly surprised but nodded. His gaze flickered over to Seifer's face before returning to look at Aerith. "I guess…I'll head home then; if no one needs anything else. I should at least show Seifer where he'll be staying."

"Sounds good. It's been a long day for everyone and I'm sure you would all like the chance to begin settling in."

The three (former) members of the Twilight Disciplinary Committee each nodded and, saying goodbye to his friends for what was basically the first time in over two years, Seifer went to retrieve his things and follow after his new housemate.

Aerith and Tifa watched as the pair left, Seifer placing one hand momentarily on Hayner's arm as he opened the door and motioned him through. Smiling in satisfaction as she noticed he didn't immediately pull away, Aerith looked over at her companion. "Progress."

* * *

><p>The trip to Hayner's home took about 20 minutes on foot and the journey was completed mostly in silence. Hayner didn't know what to say and Seifer didn't know where to begin so nothing was really said at all. Hayner's eyes stayed firmly planted on the road in front of him until he and the (former?) bully rounded the last bend before reaching Hayner's home. "Here it is; it's not much right now but I've been working on it for the last couple of months."<p>

Seifer's eyes took in the sprawling one story home nestled in the middle of a grove of trees with its well-tended garden and liked what he saw. A slight breeze was causing some ripples on the lake nearby and the sound of small waves could be heard from where he stood; it was a good location. It was a little isolated from everyone else, true, and could use a little TLC, much like the teen next to him, but it was peaceful and seemed…right…somehow.

Hayner had begun fidgeting while Seifer stood and took in the area so the scarred man looked over and smiled at him encouragingly. "I like it."

Hayner let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and gestured towards the house. "Well, let me show you where you'll be staying."

Seifer adjusted the grip on his bag and followed the smaller male up a few short steps into the front door of the home. The entryway opened up into a spacious living room with a rather large fireplace on the far left wall. Arranged around the focal point were a couch, two lounge chairs and a low coffee table. The kitchen was off to the right and was painted a sunny yellow color that made the space seem open and inviting. The living room was a more muted blend of earth tones with subtle accents of red from a pair of throw pillows and a fleece blanket draped over the arm of the couch. Hayner moved through the living room towards a double door that overlooked the backyard and the lake beyond and stopped. He gestured down a short hallway to the right. "Down there is my bedroom, the one finished spare and a full bathroom." Turning and gesturing to the left. "That side of the house is mostly unfinished; two more spare bedrooms, another sitting area, a bathroom and an extra room. I'm not sure what the extra was originally used for but it's so tattered right now it doesn't really matter."

Seifer just nodded and followed Hayner to the right, noting that the spare was on the left, the bathroom on the right and that Hayner's bedroom door was at the very end of the hall. Gesturing for Seifer to enter the spare Hayner opened a smaller door on the same hall, revealing a linen closet from which he pulled a set of bed sheets, an extra blanket and two pillows. While Seifer set his bag down and looked around the room, it was painted a soft blue-gray color and had a door leading outside to a patio he assumed was shared with Hayner's room, Hayner quickly made up the bed and stood back.

"Well, I'm sure you'll want to unpack and maybe clean up so I'll leave you to do that. " As he turned and started to leave, Seifer called his name and, when Hayner turned back, the elder blonde cupped his hands back around the younger teen's face. Hayner started and startled brown eyes flickered back up to blue for the second time that day. He paled and then flushed a little while Seifer just stood, not saying anything, eyes searching.

"You look tired." He murmured. "Maybe you should go lay down for a little while."

Hayner swallowed and backed away from the contact. "Yeah. I'll…go do that."

Seifer watched as Hayner fled the room and then sat heavily on the edge of the bed. This was going to take a while but, he smiled as he laid back, he had time.

* * *

><p>Reaching the safety of his own room, Hayner shut the door and leaned his back against it. Breathing a little unsteady, he brought his own hands up to his face where Seifer's hands had rested only a moment before. <em>Just what the hell was that?<em>

* * *

><p><em>AN 2: Sorrrrrrrrrrrrry. Writer's block is a bitch but thanks to some prodding, I'm happy to have gotten through it. I hope the chapter was okay and I'm currently having a bit of a dilemma, story wise. I have 3 more story ideas, 2 that are fairly well mapped out, and I need an opinion of whether I should begin working on, and uploading, those other stories or whether I should try and finish this one completely, first. Any input would be greatly appreciated! Also, reviews are welcome! ...when I don't get reviews, Hayner sits in the corner and cries...  
><em>


	6. Anything but Routine

**_A/N: _**This is kind of a slower chapter but I promise the next one will have some action in it that actually progresses the main storyline instead of just the character one. A note: The end of this chapter, while not graphic, may be uncomfortable for some people as the topic is a little on the depressing side. **  
><strong>

**Chapter 6: Anything but Routine**

Hayner sat upright with a strangled cry as the vestiges of his latest nightmare began to fade with the opening of his eyes. His breath hitched as the shaking began and the tears he'd been desperate to hold back began to fall. _It was a dream; just a dream, nothing more._ He knew it wasn't real but he still couldn't stop his reaction to it. For one moment, one horrible moment, he'd honestly thought he was back on the island alone and that being rescued had been the dream. While Hayner was fairly certain that he could've handled that, the thought that finding Seifer had been nothing more than a figment of his imagination was too much. Struggling for equilibrium, Hayner wiped his eyes and began one of the calming exercises he'd learned from Cloud the last time he'd been in town. Breathing and emotions moderately under control, Hayner debated getting up but then flopped back down with a groan. _Fuck it._

* * *

><p>Seifer had managed to drift off into a light doze when a cry from Hayner's room had him scrambling off the bed and rushing down the hall. He raised his hand to knock on the door but then paused, debating with himself. On the one hand, he wanted nothing more than to enter Hayner's room and gather the traumatized teen into his arms but, on the other hand, he was afraid that if he pushed too much too soon, Hayner would only withdraw more into himself. After a minute arguing with himself, Seifer lowered his hand with a frustrated sigh and retreated back down the hallway towards the living room.<p>

Taking a closer look around, Seifer couldn't help but notice that while the space was tastefully done, it nonetheless seemed lacking in the touches that expressed a person's personality. There was none of the clutter that seems to accumulate in everyone's home, regardless of how one might try to prevent it; no artwork or pictures-nothing but what a person might consider the basics. For someone like Seifer who'd heard Roxas complaining about the mess he was forced to wade through anytime he'd visited Hayner's apartment, the state of things now was telling. _It's like he's afraid to establish any type of permanence; by allowing himself to fully settle in, he risks losing it all again. _

Putting the pieces of the puzzle that was Hayner back together again was certainly going to take some work but Seifer felt he at least had some understanding of what would be needed; at least to start. Turning his attention to the double doors leading outside, Seifer opened them and stepped through to the backyard. Walking down the gently sloping yard towards the lake in the distance, the former bully couldn't help but admire the location; it really was a spot of calm amidst the chaos. Stopping at the water's edge, Seifer took a deep breath and raised his face into the breeze; after living ship to ship for the last year, it would be nice to settle down in one place. Seifer could easily picture himself staying here permanently; all he had to do now was convince Hayner of the same thing.

* * *

><p>After lazing in bed an additional twenty minutes, Hayner couldn't take the inactivity anymore and was forced to get up. A glance through the open doorway of Seifer's room showed he wasn't in it so Hayner moved out into the main living area expecting to find him there. A small spark of alarm struck Hayner in the gut when he realized the older man wasn't where he'd expected to find him but a glance outside quickly dispelled it. <em>Calm down, damn it. It would be best if I got used to him not being around anyway; I'm sure he won't want to stay here for very long. <em>Hayner's stomach muscles clenched at the thought. _Gods; he hasn't even been here eight hours and I'm already freaking out over him leaving. _Hayner turned resolutely away from the back doors and headed towards the kitchen when a knock on the front door had him changing course to open it.

Standing with arms behind her back was Rikku who smiled and waltzed in the house without waiting for permission. Hayner just rolled his eyes and shut the door. "Why don't you come in, Rikku?"

"I think I will, thanks." She looked around the room before spinning back to face Hayner with her hands planted on her hips. "Where is he?" Hayner opened his mouth but Rikku cut him off before he could say anything. "And don't tell me you don't know what I'm talking about or that it's none of my business, because it is."

Shutting his mouth with a snap, Hayner sighed and moved to sit on the couch. "He's outside by the lake."

Rikku sat at Hayner's feet and looked up at his face. "He's the one, isn't he? You don't even have to say anything; the answer is written all over your face."

Brown eyes shifted to the side. "That obvious? Shit."

The girl at his feet smiled in sympathy. "Only to someone who came looking for it. What are you going to do about it?"

A snort. "Absolutely nothing; I'm still dealing with the last time."

"But he came looking for you! And he wants to stay with you, that has to count for something!"

Hayner drew his legs up to his chest and rested his chin on them. "It's just guilt, Rikku." He mumbled. "Once he's assured himself that I'm fine he'll want to leave."

Green eyes narrowed. "But you're not-"

"Just drop it, Rikku, please?"

The girl on the floor huffed and then stood, blowing her bangs out of her eyes. "Fine…for now. This isn't even the reason I came in the first place; Tifa's going to make dinner for everyone tonight and she wants you both to come."

Hayner groaned and rubbed his eyes. "I'm not really up for-"

"She said to tell you that if you try and make an excuse as to why you can't come, she'll pack up both the food and everyone else and storm your house."

Irritation and amusement each flashed across Hayner's face before he sighed and settled on something in between. "Alright, what time?"

"Six, so don't be late."

Rikku smiled and patted Hayner on the arm before heading to the door to let herself out. As she reached for the door handle, she paused and turned. "Hayner?"

He looked over. "Hmm?"

"If he hurts you, I'll kick his ass." Surprise flitted over Hayner's face before she continued. "I'm not the only one that feels that way, either; I'd just be the first in line."

Before Hayner could think of a response, Rikku was gone leaving only the click of the door as it closed behind her.

* * *

><p>Seifer wasn't sure how long he stood staring out at the water but when his feet began falling asleep, he decided it was time to go back in. Making his way up to the back patio, he stopped when he saw Hayner inside talking with a girl he didn't recognize. Not wanting to interrupt, Seifer moved off to the side and watched the interaction, unnoticed. Even though he couldn't hear what was being said, it was interesting to watch how Hayner behaved around someone else, especially when he wasn't aware that he was being observed. The conversation was brief but informative; Hayner was at least moderately comfortable around his guest as he didn't automatically flinch away when she touched his arm. He did, however, seem surprised and uncomfortable at whatever she said before leaving. Once the mystery girl had left, Seifer gave Hayner a minute alone before opening the door and letting himself back into the house.<p>

At the noise, Hayner jumped a little and turned his head in Seifer's direction.

"Sorry if I startled you; I saw you had company and didn't want to interrupt."

Hayner grimaced. "That was Rikku; she works with me at the shop. She came by to tender an invitation to dinner at Tifa's tonight." He smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry if you don't want to go but they aren't giving us much of a choice as we either go to them or they'll all show up here."

Seifer shrugged and moved to sit on the end of the couch. "I don't have a problem with going; it will at least give me a chance to meet more people here. I assume that Rikku will be there since she brought the invitation?"

Hayner sighed. "Yeah…among others." When Seifer raised an eyebrow in his direction, Hayner elaborated. "Tifa will obviously be there because she's making dinner which means Yuffie will also be there. Sid will probably come if Rikku is there; Tifa brings food to the shop on a regular basis because Sid sucks at cooking." He thought for a minute. "If you're invited, Fuu and Rai were probably invited too and Aerith will come if she's not busy with something else. There are a few others that would normally show up but they were out running supplies and equipment to a few of the outposts in the area and I'm not sure when they're due back in."

Seifer's lips twitched. "That few, huh?"

Hayner snorted. "I haven't been around for any holidays but Rikku assures me it's a terrifying experience." Catching himself on a yawn, Hayner stood and stretched, moving into the kitchen. "I'm going to make some coffee, do you want anything?"

"Coffee sounds good."

Hayner nodded and Seifer studied him for a minute before coming to a decision. "How long have you been having the nightmares?"

Hayner tensed and he paused in his measuring of the coffee grounds. "I was hoping you hadn't heard that…sorry." He continued with the coffee while Seifer stood and moved to stand behind him, unnoticed. Seifer remained silent while Hayner finished what he was doing and when shorter male turned around, he let out an oath in surprise. Not giving him a chance to recover, Seifer placed his hands on the counter to either side of the younger blonde, effectively pinning him in place.

"You didn't answer my question."

Still a little off balance, Hayner swallowed and avoided Seifer's gaze. "I can finish one of the other rooms fairly quickly; I shouldn't bother you on the other side of the house."

"Stop avoiding the question, Hayner." Seifer leaned forward and Hayner stepped back, running up against the counter top behind him. He mentally cursed when Seifer moved to fill in the space. Seifer narrowed his eyes. "_Hayner._"

Lips compressed into a tight line, Hayner crossed his arms and continued to look away. "Two and a half years, give or take." A hint of irritation bordering on anger crept into his voice as he continued, turning to face Seifer for the first time. "And no, before you ask, sleeping pills don't help, neither does talking about it and regardless of what Yuffie claims, I'm not stepping within one hundred feet of a hypnotist."

A moment passed and then the smirk that Hayner was so familiar with came to Seifer's lips. "There it is."

"What?"

The smirk grew wider. "That look in your eyes that says you'd love nothing more than to kick my ass."

Hayner wasn't sure what to say and while he hesitated, Seifer raised his left hand and brushed away a lock of hair that had fallen to obscure one brown eye. Confusion replaced irritation at the contact which then turned to mild panic as Seifer leaned in closer. Mere inches now separated the two and Hayner could feel the heat radiating off of the elder's muscular frame. Seifer trailed his fingers down the side of Hayner's face and along his jaw as the skin underneath began to heat up. Blue eyes traced the spread of the blush over lightly tanned skin as Hayner swallowed.

Leaning in close enough for his breath to tickle across heated skin, Seifer's eyes dropped down slightly parted lips before returning to meet panicked eyes. "Hayner." He murmured.

"What?" Hayner choked out, breathing slightly ragged.

The coffee maker beeped. "The coffee's done." Smirking once more, Seifer backed away from the now flustered teen and moved to sit at the kitchen table.

Cussing under his breath, Hayner spun towards the cabinets to fish out a pair of mugs. Forget kicking his ass, right now he wanted to strap both Seifer Almasy and his own raging hormones to an airship and send them both straight to hell.

* * *

><p>Hayner was still pissed off at Seifer as they headed out to Tifa's, and Seifer was perfectly fine with that. The sooner Hayner remembered who he used to be and was able to at least begin moving past all the trauma that occurred while the two blondes had been separated, the better. There were things that needed to be said but the time wasn't right, not yet. The silence as they walked gave the elder of the pair the chance to continue working out how best to handle his companion. Aside from alternatively providing support and ticking the man beside him off in order to get him to open up, Seifer was at a bit of a loss; he and Hayner hadn't been particularly close at home in Twilight Town and while he knew his own thoughts and feelings rather well, he was currently at a loss in regards to Hayner. At least when he was angry the spark came back into his eyes and Seifer would keep the brown eyed teen pissed off for the rest of his life, so long as it didn't leave.<p>

Hayner, meanwhile, wasn't sure who to be angrier with; the man next to him or himself. He knew that Seifer would never return the feelings that he had inadvertently revealed; he _knew_ that, but that little spark of hope that maybe someday he would just stubbornly refused to die. Allowing himself to fall for such an obvious ploy…_fuck._ Hayner wasn't sure just when he had lost the ability to keep his emotions towards the blue-eyed man under control but it was obvious he needed to get it back. At least when he was angry, he could remind himself that Seifer would stay only as long as it took for him to stop feeling guilty over the things that had been said.

* * *

><p>Tifa's place was a two story brick building with the living area upstairs on top of the bar that she operated whenever she wasn't helping out with new arrivals. Having been here quite a few times over the last several months, Hayner didn't bother knocking before walking in the front door, Seifer in tow. A large mahogany bar took up the wall across from the pair while the rest of the space was filled with smaller tables and chairs. Seifer wasn't given much chance to study the space, however, as the smaller male skirted the right side of the bar and opened a door behind it to reveal stairs going up. The silent treatment had been going on for the last few hours and Seifer silently wondered to himself if he'd pushed a little too much too soon with the damaged teen. Pausing at the top of the stairs, Hayner took a deep breath and slowly released it, letting as much of the tension he had stored in his muscles go. Seifer noticed this but didn't say anything; he also noticed that when he shifted slightly towards the blonde in front of him, the muscles in the younger male's back tightened back up a little and it took a while before they relaxed again.<p>

Eventually Hayner opened the door at the top of the stairs and went in. The first thing to hit Seifer was the smell of cooking food followed immediately by the noise; it was amazing the racket three people could make. Seifer had barely shut the door behind him when the girl from earlier, Rikku, got up from where she had been sitting in the corner, grabbed Hayner by the hand, and dragged him off. As Seifer took a step to follow, Tifa appeared from the kitchen wiping her hands on a towel.

"You two are a little early, good! I could really use some help in the kitchen, if you don't mind." She said with a smile.

Seifer glanced once more in Hayner's direction to see that the two blonde teenagers were huddled together talking quietly before nodding and following Tifa. The kitchen was to the left of the living room they'd walked into and while not completely open like Hayner's, it did have a sizable space over a breakfast bar with which he could view everything going on. Through the same space, Seifer could see Aerith peeling and chopping vegetables and following Tifa's directions, he set himself up with a knife and cutting board next to her and began doing the same. The two worked in silence for a while as Seifer repeatedly glanced up to check the status of his companion in the other room. After about the fifth time, Aerith slowed her chopping and spoke.

"He won't disappear if you take your eyes off of him for more than a minute." She said gently.

Seifer heaved a sigh. "My mind knows that but the rest of me doesn't." He was silent for a moment. "I've spent so long looking for him and now that I've found him I don't want to lose him again."

Aerith smiled gently. "I can understand that." She continued chopping. "It won't be easy but he needs you."

Seifer looked over at the quite woman, surprise coloring his features and she smiled. "You haven't been here very long but I can already see a little bit of improvement." Aerith looked up from what she was doing to follow where Seifer's gaze now rested in the living room. "You can touch him without him flinching away and because you've known him longer than the rest of us, you'll be able to take liberties that the rest of us can't." She pursed her lips as she thought. "I know very little about what happened before Hayner was stranded and less about the time he was alone; he's fairly reticent during our sessions. It would go a long way towards making him whole if you could get him to open up at all."

Seifer chewed on the information imparted to him by the petite woman for as long as it took for him to finish what he was doing and to clean up. Then he turned to her. "What would you suggest?"

* * *

><p>Hayner hadn't expected to be dragged off the minute he was in the door and he was less than happy with the reason for it once Rikku had him where she wanted him. Fixing him with a glare, she crossed her arms. "What happened?"<p>

Hayner glared back. "Nothing."

"Bullshit; you're angry." She narrowed her eyes. "You don't get angry."

Hayner huffed and leaned back into the cushion he'd sat against. "Welcome to life with Seifer Almasy."

Rikku tucked her legs underneath her and leaned forward. "So, what happened?" When Hayner shot her a nasty look, she just grinned and leaned in closer. "Just so you know, I will pester you until I get an answer."

"You are such a brat."

Rikku dimpled. "But you love me anyway, right?"

Hayner shook his head in exasperation and then gave in, telling Rikku what had transpired since she'd left that afternoon. Mouth open in a silent O, Rikku sat for a minute and then, "That's kinda hot."

"Rikku!" Hayner spluttered, torn between shock and laughter.

She gave him an impish grin in response. "Well it is." She studied him a moment. "Seriously though, he's good for you; there's fire in your eyes." That last was said quietly and without the green eyed girl's usual impudence.

Hayner's expression grew thoughtful for a moment and then became pensive. "Maybe…"

Rikku shifted positions until she had her legs stretched out in front of her and was leaning back on her elbows next to her friend. She glanced up at him through her eyelashes, a smile tugging at her lips. "If you don't want him, you could always give him to me."

Hayner leveled her with a glare and then hit her with a nearby throw pillow…which promptly exploded, sending feathers flying everywhere.

Seifer looked up at the sound of laughter to see both teenagers covered in white feathers with more floating down to blanket the carpet and nearby furniture. Rikku was doubled over holding her hands to her mouth in an attempt to stifle the laughter she couldn't suppress while Hayner was looking between the remains of the pillow in his hand and the girl next to him with disgust. Glancing up to see the look on Hayner's face only made Rikku laugh harder and as Tifa came out of the kitchen to see what was going on, he hit her again with the remains of the pillow he still held, sending more feathers flying.

"I blame you." Hayner growled.

Rikku gasped for breath and wiped tears from her eyes. "You should have seen the look on your face!"

Hayner pushed the girl next to him over and stood while she began laughing again. Seeing Tifa standing in the doorway with her arms crossed, he grimaced. "Sorry, Tifa. I wasn't expecting Rikku's head to be hard enough to break the pillow."

Tifa sighed and shook her head. "It was an older pillow and I'm sure it would've happened sooner or later anyway. You've still got some time so just clean it up, okay?"

"Yes ma'am." The teens replied in unison.

Hayner turned to begin cleaning and caught Seifer's amused glance which caused him to flush with embarrassment. The blush deepened as the scarred man came out from the kitchen with a broom and dustpan to help clear the mess. Hayner took the broom with a quiet thanks and got to work as Rikku attacked the mess on the furniture. Seifer watched the pair for a minute or two before saying anything.

"You two are close."

Rikku looked over at him with amusement. "Like family."

Hayner snorted. "Yeah, she's like the bratty younger sister I never had and still don't want."

Rikku looked indignant while Seifer smirked. "Hey!"

A knock on the door had Hayner turning to go open it but a hand on his arm stopped him. He turned back with a look of puzzlement on his face as Rikku went to the door instead. Raising a hand, Seifer trailed his fingers through the younger man's hair.

"You have feathers in your hair."

Hayner swallowed and tried to ignore the feeling of Seifer's fingers as they sought out every last piece of fluffy white; he especially didn't want to think about the way his stomach twitched with anticipation of the elder male's touch. Confusion and uncertainty filled the teen as Seifer removed the last of the feathers and Rai and Fuu came through the door. Retreating to the far side of the room, Hayner took a seat near a window and stared outside as Seifer went to greet his two friends. It figured that just when Hayner thought he knew what to expect from his current houseguest, he turned the tables and confused him all over again. Feeling the strange urge to cry, the troubled teen rubbed his right hand absently over his heart. _Damn the man anyway. _

* * *

><p>After a few minutes conversing with his friends about each other's new homes, Seifer noticed that Fuu's gaze was centered on where Hayner sat alone.<p>

"Bad?" She asked quietly.

Seifer sighed, a look of pain coming to his eyes. "Yeah. He's not completely lost, though; when he gets angry you can see some of the old Hayner shining through and I'll keep pissing him off until it's more than just a memory of self."

Fuu huffed. "Hate."

"He'll forgive me eventually."

"Talk?"

"I can't yet, but when I think he's ready, I will."

Fuu nodded in apparent satisfaction as Tifa came back out of the kitchen followed by Aerith. "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes; Sid and Yuffie are on their way over." She looked around until she spotted Hayner. "Hayner? Would you mind going downstairs and grabbing two bottles of the merlot I bought from that Dalmascan trader? They should be in the wine cooler behind the bar."

Hayner nodded and uncurled himself from the chair with a small stretch. He disappeared downstairs and conversations continued until a strangled yell and the sound of glass breaking had everyone's heads swiveling to the door. Seifer was up and out the door before anyone else, barreling down the stairs. As he reached the bottom, the scarred man saw Hayner behind the bar, white as a ghost and clutching his left hand, which was bleeding profusely. Near the door on the other side was a man with bright red hair who looked shamefaced and was apologizing over and over again. Ignoring him for the time being, Seifer went immediately to Hayner and pulled him into his arms, being careful not to do any further damage to his injury. The teen's breathing was strained and he was shaking a little. Tightening his grip, Seifer began running a hand soothingly down the younger male's back as he turned to see a man wearing the bottom half of a mechanic's uniform walk in the door followed by Yuffie. The man took one look at the pair behind the bar and then focused his attention on the redhead who was still apologizing. With a scowl he raised a hand and cuffed the back of the groveling young man's head hard enough to send him stumbling forward a few steps.

"You Damned Idiot! What the hell did you do now?"

"I didn't mean to!" The man protested, rubbing the back of his head. "I saw a bit of blonde and thought it was Rikku; I was going to give her a good scare and get a laugh out of it." He grimaced. "I honestly wasn't expecting it to be Hayner instead." Stepping closer to the man in question, he apologized again, keeping a wary eye on Seifer who looked ready to jump over the bar and throttle him; if not for the teen in his arms, he might have. "Hayner I'm sorry, really. You know I'd never spook you on purpose."

Hayner turned his head a little from where it had been buried in Seifer's chest to glare at the man with one brown eye. "Fuck off, Reno."

Reno grimaced. "That's about what I thought you'd say."

"Is everything alright down here?" Tifa asked as she came down the stairs. "What happened?" Taking in the scene, the brunette blinked as she realized who was standing in her bar. "Reno? You're back! Are Cloud and Rude with you?"

Reno grinned and scratched the side of his nose with one long finger. "They're still with the ship but they should be here soon."

Tifa smiled with real pleasure. "I'll set extra places at the table then; you've all been gone too long." Turning her attention to the two blondes behind the bar, Tifa noticed the shards of broken glass on the floor and the blood that was darkening both of their shirts. "Seifer, I have a first aid kit in the bathroom off the hall to the left of the dining room; there should be bandages and a pair of tweezers to remove the glass. I'll clean this up here and find you both something to change into." She turned to Reno. "And I expect you have an explanation."

Seifer nodded and then brought his attention back to Hayner, who had made no attempt to remove himself from the safety of the scarred man's arms. "Let's go upstairs and take care of your hand, alright?"

The younger blonde nodded and pulled away but Seifer put an arm around his waist before he could move too far. Back upstairs Seifer guided Hayner to the bathroom while the other three slowly made their way up the stairs behind them. Pushing the brown eyed teen down on the edge of the bathtub, Seifer found the first aid kit and a washcloth that he wet down in the sink before sitting himself down on the closed lid of the toilet. Taking Hayner's left hand in his, he then began carefully removing the shards of glass that were embedded there. As Seifer worked, Hayner occasionally grimaced but made no noise in complaint. Done with the fingers, Seifer shifted his grip to work on the rest of his hand and in doing so, raised Hayner's sleeve up enough that his wrist was partially exposed. There, barely visible, was a thin white scar going across tan skin.

A feeling of horror washed over the elder male as the implications of what he was seeing sunk in. He swallowed and kept his head bent over his work so as not to betray any thoughts or emotions to the younger blonde and, reminding himself that this was not the time or place, Seifer finished tending to Hayner's hand as Tifa appeared at the door with a pair of shirts.

"Rikku ran over to the shop and got one of your spares, Hayner, and I've found an extra shirt I think will fit you, Seifer."

Both males said thanks as Tifa set the clothing down and left. Turning away slightly, Hayner quickly pulled his bloodied shirt off and donned the new one while his companion did the same. When the two had finished changing, they exited the bathroom and made their way to the dining area off of the kitchen; places had already been set for the unexpected additions and the two blondes squeezed into the remaining open space. Hayner found himself sandwiched between Seifer and Yuffie at the end of the table and as soon as they were seated, everyone began helping themselves to the dinner Tifa had provided. Not having much of an appetite, Hayner took very little which earned him the benefit of Yuffie's commentary.

"You're too thin, Hayner; you need to eat more."

"I'm just fine, Yuffie. I was never the biggest person to begin with."

Yuffie glared. "Hayner, you have _**no ass.**_"

Rikku, sitting to Yuffie's right, leaned forward into the conversation. "You're only saying that because yours is big enough for the both of you."

While Hayner tried hiding a smile behind his glass of water, Yuffie's head swiveled to turn her glare to the grinning girl next to her. "Are you saying I'm **fat**?"

"Would I say that to you?" Rikku replied, all big eyes and innocence.

Hayner turned his attention to the other side of the table as the two girls continued bickering. Most of the conversation revolved around recent travels; Reno was regaling everyone with stories from their recent run between the outposts while Seifer, Fuu and Rai were talking about where they'd been over the last year. Cloud sat quietly but when he noticed Hayner looking at him, he raised an eyebrow and tilted his head in Seifer's direction. The younger man just gave him a small smile, shook his head and shrugged. Nothing much ever had to be said to Cloud for him to understand. The elder nodded in return and went back to eating in silence.

* * *

><p>Dinner lasted much later than Seifer had thought it would and to his mild surprise, he'd enjoyed it quite a bit. He liked everyone though he still thought Reno could use a few more smacks from Sid, whom he'd found out was Hayner's boss. The one person that puzzled him, however, was the spikey haired blonde named Cloud. More than once Seifer had found himself being stared at by the man as if he were being judged. By the end of the evening, however, he'd gotten a grudging nod from the aloof man as though he'd passed some test he wasn't even aware he'd been taking.<p>

Of more pressing concern though was the teen walking next to him as they headed back to the house. The scar Seifer had seen by accident was still on his mind and regardless of how late or tired he was, he felt it needed to be brought up as soon as he and Hayner had some privacy. Blue eyes narrowed slightly as he thought; the confrontation would likely be a bad one but it was best done now while Hayner's guard was down from fatigue.

Reaching the house, Hayner pulled out a set of keys out to unlock the front door, muttering to himself about a spare. Seifer waited only as long as it took for them both to toe off their shoes and be fully inside before steeling himself and moving closer to the yawning teen.

"Where did you get the scar, Hayner?" He asked quietly.

Hayner froze and startled brown eyes shot up to meet blue. "What?"

Seifer took the step forward necessary for him to grab the teen's left hand and yank up the sleeve of his shirt. There for them both to see were two scars, one going across the width of his wrist and another slightly longer one going vertically towards Hayner's elbow. Alarmed and angry, Hayner yanked his arm out of Seifer's grip and backed away.

"I would have thought that was fairly obvious, Seifer." Hayner spat out before turning to walk away. He made it two steps before he was grabbed and hauled around by his arm. Seifer grabbed his other arm so that both were being held once they were facing each other and Hayner's angry stare met the scarred man's equally pissed off one.

"Why, Hayner? _Why?_"

Hayner let out a mirthless laugh. "Would you like that listed alphabetically or numerically?"

Seifer shook him a little. "This isn't funny!"

"No." Hayner snarled. "It's not, is it? Now get your hands off of me."

"Not until you talk to me, dammit! "

"Why are you even pretending to _care_?" Hayner demanded, trying to yank himself free. "You never gave a shit about me back in Twilight Town so why start now? The Gods only know that I've never been anything to you other than a living punching bag."

"Hayner—" Seifer's eyes softened slightly.

"Just stop!" Hayner pulled free. "You act like you give a damn but it's nothing more than some twisted little mind fuck and I'm sure as hell not going to give you any more ammo for it!" Spinning on his heel, the distraught teen bolted out the backdoor with Seifer right behind. Hayner hadn't even made it halfway down the yard when he was grabbed and spun around again.

"Dammit Hayner, it's not a mind fuck! I want to help you but I can't unless you _talk _to me! "

The younger blonde struggled against the grip Seifer had on him before suddenly bursting into tears. He sagged into Seifer's embrace as the former bully readjusted his grip to hold him as he sobbed uncontrollably.

"Why?" The younger male demanded. "Just _why_?"

There was no answer that the blue eyed man could give that his companion would believe so he just held on tighter and closed his eyes as tears burned their way down his own cheeks. After a while, Hayner's sobs began to quiet and when they stopped, Seifer wasn't too terribly surprised to find the teen in his arms had fallen asleep. Between all of the emotional upheavals and the late hour, he'd earned a little sleep. Careful not to jostle him too much, Seifer managed to pick Hayner up and carry him back inside the house. Walking down the hall, Seifer toed open the door at the end and made his way to Hayner's bed. The covers were already partially pulled down so he arranged the sleeping blond in them and stepped back. Feeling the cost of the day himself, and with the urge to stay as close to Hayner as he could, Seifer mentally said 'fuck it' and crawled into the other side of the bed. Then, wrapping an arm around the younger male, he pulled them together and promptly fell asleep.

* * *

><p>Waking up slowly, Hayner tried putting together the events of the previous evening in a way that made sense. He had no memory of anything after falling apart, <em>again<em>, so he assumed Seifer had put him to bed when he'd finished making an ass of himself. Stretching a little, Hayner decided that he was too warm and comfortable to move just yet and face the grilling he was sure to get. Snuggling into the warmth, Hayner felt himself beginning to fall back asleep when the object he'd moved closer to shifted and the teen's eyes, instead of remaining closed, shot open. Amused blue eyes met wary brown as Hayner made a noise in the back of his throat and tried to shift away. Instead of letting him though, Seifer tightened his grip and prepared to continue where they'd left off the night before. Hayner knew what was coming from the elder male's expression and he tensed but just as quickly his posture deflated.

"I'm not going to get out of this, am I?" He asked, closing his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Hayner, but no. You've already put off talking about it for too long."

Heaving a sigh, Hayner tilted his head down and curled in a little. He took a moment before beginning. "I thought at first that maybe it was all just a bad dream; that would figure with how the day had been going." He swallowed. "When it sank in that I wasn't dreaming and that I was really alone I broke down; it was hard to make myself start moving again but I did. I kept moving by reminding myself that I had to and for a while it worked but after a few months the constant isolation just got to be too much." Hayner smiled mirthlessly. "I didn't want to be alone anymore." Seifer waited while the man in his arms tried to find the words to continue; after a minute, he did. "I hadn't ever thought about suicide before so I wasn't aware there was a right way to do it." He turned his left wrist up and traced the horizontal scar with the fingers on his right hand. "It hurt." He murmured. "And the cut was deep but it hadn't been done well enough to end things." Hayner grew quiet a moment and then continued. "So, I tried again. This time I cut the other way but this one wasn't deep enough and after I'd cut a few inches, I couldn't make myself continue. I watched myself bleed for a while but…" He shrugged. "Some minor spark of self-preservation remained regardless of how much I just wanted it to be over; I bound up my wrist and went back to merely existing one day at a time." Hayner closed his eyes as Seifer's hand came up to massage the back of his neck. "I never tried again."

Seifer continued working his fingers into the nape of Hayner's neck, not saying anything, and after a while Hayner felt himself nodding off. "I'm tired, Seifer." He mumbled.

The older male repositioned himself so that the younger teen's head was pillowed on his chest. "Then sleep, Hayner."

Mumbling his assent, Hayner did just that, barely noticing when Seifer's cheek came down to rest upon his head as he fell back asleep with him.

**A/N 2**: I hope the chapter was okay; there were things I needed done and while it wasn't the most exciting thing to write, there are parts I'm fairly happy with. Reviews make my world go 'round so leave me some, please? 3 Also, if you haven't already and would care to, the first two chapters of Across Time are up and chapter three is already underway.


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